Southern Utah TJed Mom Fall Retreat

The leaves were changing and were so beautiful!


The cabin was amazing!! Its for sale if anyone is interested--only for $1.15 million
Remember a few months ago when I posted about wanting to do a mom retreat? Well, this last weekend was the retreat.

Nikki-one of my favorite people ever!

The cabin had a loft upstairs, bedrooms downstairs and a fabulous kitchen. We couldn't have asked for a nicer place.
Organizing the retreat was a lot of fun (since I got to plan it with my sister!) but it was an insane amount of work. I think I was unprepared for the amount of work that transpired. I haven't decided if I will plan one for next year, but if I do, this year was a good prep year for it..lol..

There was a lot of food! It was all good!
When I started this whole thing I really felt that it was a "saygobedo." --A say-go-be-do is that little voice that you hear in your head and you immediately follow it. You either say it, go to it, be it, or do it. It is a powerful concept that can truly change your life. In my religion-LDS- it is often called following the spirit.


The sunrise was so peaceful. I couldn't get enough of it!

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in "following the spirit" and questioning whether or not it is the spirit. I think saygobedo has taken the pressure of making sure it is the spirit etc, and I just do it. This entire process was FULL of saygobedo.

Visiting at night.

The famed Chris Bowler came and gave us a personal concert. Wow! What talent!

Sunrise with Amy and Misty.-two angels of mine! Thanks girls for all of your help!
The presenters were amazing! Diann and Jodi presented an entire evening about fulfilling our mission in life. We did a vision walk about missions and explored what finding our mission looks like. It was a transformational experience. At one time Diann was talking about that conformational feeling that you will get, and immediately the thought came to me that I had experienced this the day before at the day of RAINN. This was very nerve wracking to me. The feelings that I went through on RAINN day were very difficult. I felt great and very empowered, that afterwords I found myself questioning myself if I would really be able to do it again. Could I really speak with such boldness again???? This confirmation that I felt at the retreat I had to write down right away, because I don't think I would be able to believe myself later about it.


That night I had the pleasure with talking to so many phenomenal women. Women whose lives were so interesting. They are very powerful women who have the power to change the world. --many of them already are!


BrYan and Nikki
We discussed the book Little Men. It was one of the best colloquiums that I have ever participated in. The depth of that book is unmeasurable! As one of the ladies said...."Dr.Demille just copied this book and called it TJEd!" Although he didn't, you can certainly see examples of almost every principle and step that is discussed in his book.


Wonder woman even paid us a visit. I don't think anyone will forget that!

Shaunna Dunn as Wonder Woman. You were so awesome Shaunna!!

-- my husband is SO jealous!


We were guided through scholar phase with Amy and Kami Mitchell again helped me become a better person.

Amy presenting about scholar phase.

We also ate pretty well too..lol...

I am so blessed to have had this experience. The adversary was certainly working against me. Several times the past couple of months I almost cancelled for one reason or another. I kept going back to that moment of saygobedo and how I had decided to do it, so I just kept pressing forward.

Jo Deann and Mari

One of the obvious moments of saygobedo was with dinner. Katy was bringing the rice, she had car trouble and was arriving late. (my van also had problems and we ended up having someone drive me up too!) So, that morning when I was packing up I had the distinct impression that I needed to bring rice. I immediately said to myself that Katy was bringing it and so I didn't need to worry about it. Not only that, I only had brown rice and not everyone likes brown rice (although it is delicious!) So I didn't bring it. So, when it became obvious that Katy was running late and we would need to buy rice, we ended up paying $3 for a pound of rice.--we needed 4 pounds. Yikes! What was funny was one gal admitted that she told us that she felt that she needed to bring rice. Then later that night another gal said that she also felt she should have brought rice. Although the rice was not a big deal, it was just an example to me that the Lord was watching over us and wanted this retreat to go well.

Thank you everyone for coming! I wanted to help my TJEd community and ended up changing myself.

Love you Katy!--next time we need mom and Anna there!

RAINN day

This past week has been so full of life changing experiences. Cory organized a day of RAINN for his senior project. It was quite a project!!! I was able to share with others my story to raise awareness for sexual assault.

That morning I was incredibly nervous. I had to take a moment to get myself together and decide if I was really going to be able to do it. Well, after a few moments of wanting to puke, I was able to fully participate in the events. I talked to news reporters and had a microphone in my face. It was a surreal experience. I was so thankful that I was able to go through this crazy day. At the beginning of the day I felt alone, but I soon found myself surrounded by incredible people who were able to love like few other people I know.

I think this was defiantly a day that really showed myself how far I have come. Just a few years ago I was unable to talk about the incident with anyone else but family. But I found myself talking about it to strangers. It is a miracle to me.

I have received so much support from people. The supportive comments are what really help survivors. Thank you hun for all of your love and support!! Its been a crazy journey!! Can't wait to see what we do next.




Here is the story from the Spectrum.

ST. GEORGE - The sun had set one particular night 15-years-ago in Rexburg, Idaho, and Bonita Sutton, who was attending Ricks College, was walking home after class. "A man jumped out of the bushes and proceeded to walk me home," Sutton said. "He tried to get me to come home with him and I said 'no.' He continued to make advances toward me - I made it very clear I wasn't interested." http://www.thespectrum.com/section/VideoNetwork?bctid=616516472001">Video:RAINN at Dixie State

It was at that point, Bonita Sutton's life changed forever.

"He (perpetrator) shoved me to the ground, had a knife at my throat - and proceeded to rape me," she said.

After the attack, Sutton walked home. She said she told only one person and made them promise not to tell anyone.

Life continued on like nothing happened. Bonita Sutton got married a year and half later and started a family.

"(I) convinced myself that it didn't happen - I repressed it until three years later (after the rape)," she said.

As a returning student, Cory, Bonita Sutton's husband, is working to bring awareness of sexual assault to the Dixie State College campus.

On Thursday Cory Sutton brought RAINN Day to campus. RAINN is rape, abuse, incest national network. As an integrated studies major in communication and psychology, Cory Sutton took on bringing the awareness event to DSC as a senior project.

"They (sexual assault victims) need to know there are people out there who are willing to give support in the healing process," Cory Sutton said.

With sexual assault impacting him personally in his life, Cory Sutton, strongly believes in educating people about sexual assault and providing information on services available to victims.

Bonita Sutton said there were times during her healing process she couldn't talk about her attack.

"I went through some really dark days where I thought I wasn't going to survive," she said. "I've been blessed to have a good husband and family that love and support me."

(2 of 2)

Without them, Bonita Sutton said, she wouldn't have made it through those dark days in her life.

As students walked down the Diagonal Thursday they were presented with teal ribbons and information about RAINN and sexual assault. The DOVE Center was there along with a representative from the Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault.

According to the RAINN website, rainn.org, the national statistic is that one in six women and one in 33 men will be a victim of sexual assault in their lifetime. Cory Sutton brought those numbers to life with 800 teal ribbons placed on stakes in the grass - a representation of how many students may have been assaulted according to national statistics.

"Most college girls don't report it (sexual assault)," Bonita Sutton said.

Although DSC hasn't had a reported sexual assault, many don't believe it's immune to it.

"I think one rape a year is a problem," Bonita Sutton said.

Holly Malnar, case and program manager for the DOVE Center, was at the event providing information on what sexual assault is and where to get help if it occurs.

"I think awareness is the key to this whole issue - awareness that the way a woman dresses or acts doesn't make her responsible for her assault," she said. "There's not enough awareness out there that make women (know) it's not their fault."

Alana J. Kindness, executive director of the Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault, said it's important for students to have an opportunity to talk about the issue - to ask questions and recognize sexual assault does happen and it is a part of communities.

"No one deserves to be sexually assaulted," Kindness said. "As a community we need to support each other and take away the shame."

There are many things, Kindness said, people and survivors can do to help survivors of sexual assault.

"The more people talk about it the safer people will feel," she said. "It's their (victims) fear of what other people will say, why they don't report."

Zero reports, Kindness said, gives a community or college campus a false sense of security.

If someone has been sexually assaulted the DOVE Center is available to assist. To contact the center call 628-1204. The center also offers a Rape and Sexual Assault support group Tuesdays from 5 to 6 p.m.

Contact the center for more information on the support group.

Without them, Bonita Sutton said, she wouldn't have made it through those dark days in her life.

As students walked down the Diagonal Thursday they were presented with teal ribbons and information about RAINN and sexual assault. The DOVE Center was there along with a representative from the Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault.

According to the RAINN website, rainn.org, the national statistic is that one in six women and one in 33 men will be a victim of sexual assault in their lifetime. Cory Sutton brought those numbers to life with 800 teal ribbons placed on stakes in the grass - a representation of how many students may have been assaulted according to national statistics.

"Most college girls don't report it (sexual assault)," Bonita Sutton said.

Although DSC hasn't had a reported sexual assault, many don't believe it's immune to it.

"I think one rape a year is a problem," Bonita Sutton said.

Holly Malnar, case and program manager for the DOVE Center, was at the event providing information on what sexual assault is and where to get help if it occurs.

"I think awareness is the key to this whole issue - awareness that the way a woman dresses or acts doesn't make her responsible for her assault," she said. "There's not enough awareness out there that make women (know) it's not their fault."

Alana J. Kindness, executive director of the Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault, said it's important for students to have an opportunity to talk about the issue - to ask questions and recognize sexual assault does happen and it is a part of communities.

"No one deserves to be sexually assaulted," Kindness said. "As a community we need to support each other and take away the shame."

There are many things, Kindness said, people and survivors can do to help survivors of sexual assault.

"The more people talk about it the safer people will feel," she said. "It's their (victims) fear of what other people will say, why they don't report."

Zero reports, Kindness said, gives a community or college campus a false sense of security.

If someone has been sexually assaulted the DOVE Center is available to assist. To contact the center call 628-1204. The center also offers a Rape and Sexual Assault support group Tuesdays from 5 to 6 p.m.

Contact the center for more information on the support group.

Dixie State College has no reported sexual assaults last year. Although the reports aren’t there, campus police aren’t naïve to the fact the attacks don’t happen. National statistics show one in six women and one in 33 men are sexually assaulted in their lifetime.

According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, it reports:

• 44 percent of victims raped by a steady boyfriend or spouse report the assault – 77 percent of victims raped by a stranger report.

• 50 percent of dating violence victims report the violence to someone else: 88 percent report the violence to a friend and 20 percent report to law enforcement.

• 32 percent of students report dating violence by a previous partner and 21 percent report violence by a current partner.

• 39-54 percent of dating violence victims remain in physically abusive relationships.

• 12 percent of completed rapes, 35 percent of attempted rapes and 22 percent of threatened rapes occur on a date.

• 60 percent of acquaintance rapes on college campuses occur in casual or steady dating relationships.

• An estimated 5 percent of college women experience a completed or attempted rape in a given year.

• 51 percent of college males admit perpetrating one or more sexual assault incidents during college.

The DOVE Center is available to women who are victims of domestic and sexual violence. If you need information or help contact them at 628-1204. The center also has a rape and sexual assault support group on Tuesdays 5 to 6 p.m. For more information on the support group call the center.

RAINN Day at Dixie State College campus gave tips on how to better help those who've been a victim of sexual assault. Some ideas were:

-Openly support surviviors of sexual assault.

-Be comfortable in talking about sexual assault.

-Know what consent means.

-Take away the shame of sexual assault.

Information and discussion is key to preventing a sexual assault.

On college campuses many students date. When dating someone talk about what your expectations are in a relationship.

The power of prayer and email

Have you ever had a prayer answered through someone else? I mean, something totally and completely unrelated to what was actually happening around you and then out of the blue-a different prayer was answered.

I had this experience this week and I wanted to share it.

Some of you may know the difficulties I have in September. It was in September that I was attacked and raped when I was in college. --Even typing it out it still brings me a flutter of anxiety. For the last few years September has been pretty mild. There have been moments of anxiety and panic but, really, it has been mild. In the past I would be practically paralyzed with fear and anxiety. Thankfully I have a very supportive husband, family, and friends who have helped me get past these dark days.

This year was a little different. This year I am helping my husband prepare for his senior project which is a day of awareness for sexual assault victims. So, as you can imagine, this has brought all sorts of healing opportunities for me...lol..

The other morning was a particular difficult morning (it was "the day" that it happened). I was finding myself giving into the anxiety and the desire to stay in bed. It felt like a dark, heavy weight pressing on me. I had so much to accomplish that day and I was caving into the negative feelings. Cory was at school and I couldn't get myself to call anyone. I felt I was on my own to deal with this. Thankfully it wasn't so bad that I felt I could still pray.

Sometimes prayer to me is like breakfast. My day goes so much better when I pray in the morning. Well, that particular morning it was all I could do to plead to my Heavenly Father to not forget me that day. I didn't need a big sign from the heaven, the walls of Jericho didn't need to come down for me (there have been times when I did need that, but that is a different story), I just needed to be reminded of the peace that I had felt in the past, so that I would remember that I could get through this day.

Well. I stayed in bed. I decided to check my email since I was expecting some emails for various reasons. I grabbed my itouch and promptly got back into bed.

I recieved an email from a gal that I have only met once or twice. She is a leader in the homeschooling world and was replying to me about something completely unrelated. I have never shared with her my story. So I was a little taken back when her email felt so direct. This is part of what she said: "I hope you will see and feel how you have grown and benefited from this experience. I understand that it is painful and hard....For me, I am certain that every time I step out and work to create something bigger than myself it feels hard and painful and many times I cry out and wonder why in the world I do it. Always there come a moment when the Spirit consoles me and shows me that it was worth it. I am praying that you will have this as well."

For me, it was just what I needed. It was a reminder of how far I have come. I made it through the day with minimal anxiety and today I feel like myself again.

I am so grateful for those in my life who follow the spirit daily. Sometimes we forget how much our obedience to the spirit can bless others. It can be easy to get wound up in how much it can bless our own life.

New pet

A warning....this post is not for the squeamish...Keri/Tara/Grandpa Sutton... you've been warned.

So the boys have found a new pet. No its not the many frogs that have come out lately or even a cute little snake. Nope. Guess again.



I tried to figure out what kind of spider it is, but I can only take looking at so many up close pictures of spiders. I feel all creepy crawly just thinking about it. I think it is just a basic garden spider. They eat lots of bugs (see the video below) and are not poisonous to humans.

Not only are the boys watching this new spider everyday, they have started to assist in the bug catching.





Our life is so exciting!!!

I Like Mike!

Today at the Washington County Fair I was excited to meet senate candidate Mike Lee. I have been a fan of his for a while. I love his conservative principles. He really seems like the real deal. --Not someone who will say all of the right things and then abandon it as soon as they are elected. I am anxious to see how he is in Washington DC and yet not be a part of DC. I have extremely high expectations for him. I almost shied away when we approached him, so thank goodness for Cory not letting me back out! I had questions I wanted to ask him, but of course my mind went BLANK! (really wanted to get his signature --not autograph--to see what he was really like...lol..)

Yeah Mike!

The rollercoaster of emotions

For the last two weeks I have been experiencing a roller coaster of emotions. Pick an emotion...any emotion and I can guarantee that I felt it. I am now exhausted from all of the ups and downs but at last I am finding myself at peace. This post may be to much info for some...you've been warned.

For starters, I was released from my church calling of primary president. I knew this day was coming. For the last couple of months I have been expecting it. For the last three years I have loved serving in the children of the ward and the primary workers. I did my best and let the children have my heart. When I was released, I once thought I would be skipping around and shouting hooray!!! However, an unexpected feeling of loss overcame me. I know it is the right time for this release and that the new presidency will be wonderful in there, but the loss was very real and tangible. There were so many things I wanted to do and accomplish in primary that I wasn't able to do. It took about a week to even be able to talk about being released without having a rush of emotions. Being the president of primary has really strengthened my testimony of the gospel. My favorite memories while serving are the times when the spirit would tell me to do things out of the blue and the blessings that would come from following the spirit. Either going to see a teacher or leader who was struggling or calling people to certain positions, the spirit was different than I had ever experienced. My favorite favorite memory from primary didn't even happen in primary. The ward was doing a service project at a widow's home. I had had several bad days and I wasn't doing very well. My self talk had been especially negative and it was really wearing on me. While I was raking the weeds and pondering my self pity I looked up and noticed that about a dozen kids ages 8 and younger had gathered around me to work. "Come work with Sister Sutton!" they called to their friends. It made my heart burst with happiness and helped me get over my downward slump that I had found myself in. I will always love primary, it will hold a special place in my heart. I am so excited for the new presidency to see what wonderful things they will do.

That same week I went to Salt Lake City for my LEMI training for the Shakespeare class that I teach at the Washington County Commonwealth. As part of the experience, we put on a Shakespeare play. Last year, I ..well...didn't do very well in the play. I..sorta..kinda..had a breakdown backstage just before I was to go on. Last year my part was very small, I was the lion in Midsummer's Night Dream. I wasn't afraid of going in front of people to perform, I was unable to memorize my lines. As much as I practiced, the lines wouldn't stick in my head. I started sobbing and my mentor had to grab me by the shoulders and tell me it was going to be ok!-which it was..lol.. Everyone else had their lines memorized except for me. I had a little index card with my lines written on them. I felt a weakness exposed naked to the world! It was the hardest thing I have ever done! So when I went back to training this year I was determined to have a better experience. I was hoping that nobody would remember my part last year. But alas, they all remembered. In fact one gal told me that she was taking Shakespeare BECAUSE of me last year. Umm....I know Shakespeare can be moving but I wasn't exactly crying onstage because I was being moved my Shakespeare. It was freaking hard! Well, this year I did better. My part was a little bigger as I was Sexton from Much Ado About Nothing. This year they allowed everyone take their scripts up (only a few did) so I had my script up there but I didn't need it. I was calm and knew I could do it. When the play was done, I sat in my seat and quietly cried (yes I cry A LOT!--just ask my husband..lol..) as I felt redeemed from the past. But it was more than that. Have you ever had a weakness exposed to you and over come it? It has been a very powerful experience. To overcome a challenge and to get that feeling of "if I can do that...I can do just about anything!!" is very empowering. This year, Shakespeare class will be so much better in so many ways. I am so excited for it!

When I came home from training, I was officially released in church. I cried more! But that night we found out that our friend and home teacher for many years had ended his life. We were devastated! He came and visited us regularly. He loved to talk about his family. He was so proud of his sons in the army, another son that was on a mission, and his beautiful daughters. He talked about them every chance he had. He loved his family. He always greeted us with a smile and always asked if there was anything he could do for us. He came over for blessings when we were sick and would bring us his extra Sunday papers after his delivery route. He helped bless my two youngest boys in church when they were babies and our youngest even shares his name. At first I was very angry at him. Very very angry. But it makes me sad to think that he was in such pain and didn't feel he could reach out to anyone. To feel that there is no other way to cope with life other than to end it, is a very painful feeling. I think most people have felt those kinds of feelings to an extent. Depression is a very lonely, painful path. And if anyone is on that path and is wondering if there really is anyone out there who cares, THERE IS! If you can't find anyone when you need them, know that God loves you and wants you to be happy. This life can have some terrible trials, but he will always be there. The pain is only for a moment in our life. You can get through it. The day he passed away he came over to our home and delivered his extra Sunday papers. He was happy, smiley and kind like he always is. Whatever his struggles were, I hope he is at peace. He was loved by many and will be missed.

While Cory was at the funeral, I was able to take James with me to Salt Lake City for a day and to watch my sister's family seal their youngest daughter to their family. It was such a beautiful experience. The blessings of the temple are so real. The peace there is so real. All of my siblings and their spouses were there, so the only one missing in the temple was Cory. I am so blessed with such a supportive family. It is hard living far away from all of them, so when we are able to get together it is so great. On Sunday we all traveled back to Provo to see Ray's newest baby blessed. I love my family.

As you can tell, the last couple of weeks have been full of ups and downs. But I think it comes down to live and love in the moment. Love your family and never take them for granted.

Yellowstone National Park

On our way to Yellowstone we stopped in a place that is really quite amazing. It is called Quake Lake. Back in 1959 a 7.5 earthquake shook the Yellowstone area. It was in the middle of the night and as you can imagine, things became crazy. The side of the mountain literally fell down burying dozens of people and damning up the Madison River. This formed Quake Lake. You see those two big boulders above the tour bus?--those boulders are monuments to those who died in the earthquake..get this..they were originally on the other side of the ravine at the top of the mountain (that mountain that is behind Luke and James). It is quite the geological wonder.



















For two days our family drove and drove and drove through Yellowstone Nationall Park. Did I mention we did a lot of driving?? We didn't even get to see a third of the park..it is so ginormous!















It is bigger than the states of Rhode Island and Delaware combined. It was often 20 miles between sites. But for me, it was a beautiful relaxing drive with my family--even when we were stuck on the road for an hour waiting for the road construction to let us through, or even when the cars would get in a long line as they looked at wildlife (YES people it is ANOTHER deer!! Keep moving keep moving!!).















Moms will appreciate this....toward the end of the trip Mark wanted an apple just like his brothers. After much trepidation, we finally gave him one and stared at him while he ate it. Well, he commenced with taking a bite, chewing it, and then spitting it out onto himself. It was great entertainment...really...at the next stop we had to shake him off and clean out the car seat since there was sticky apple everywhere!














Black Bear- it was a good hundred yards away but you could clearly see it.














Bison right outside the car..like 4 feet away..crazy!!














At Mammoth Springs




























We traveled through the waterfall loop to look at all of the waterfalls. They were so beautiful!

















Dustin with his little bunch. He came straight from two weeks of military training. He is scheduled to be deployed in the next year.
















Yes that is SNOW! There was actually quite a bit of it in the mountain areas.














It was our anniversary this day! Love you sweety!



























Old Faithful...we were there the night before at dusk and I think that we were the only ones there!! The kids said "Well whats the big deal! Nobody is here to watch it but us!" Well the next day when we saw it at lunchtime, the crowd was greatly improved. Old Faithful was 20 minutes late and spouted off for a shorter amount of time than usual. The night before it performed much more satisfactorily.














Geyser country





























Yes that water is HOT! Just ask Ben.














We wanted to pour a bucket of water and see which way the water poured down the mountain..but we were out of buckets and didn't have much water.