To assist me around the house and when I'm out, I have been using a very helpful tool. A walker. It is great for helping me maintain my balance and stability. It can also double as a chair if I am feeling week in the ankles and need to sit down in a random place (which I totally have).
Ben has become good friends with the "walker". It has become a new place to experience what his body is capable of doing.
Let me explain...if I can.
Sitting comfortably on the handle bars..I seem to remember riding on my sisters bike like this while she drove. Once.
Almost a hand-stand. I was never good at them either. No worries Ben, I still love ya.
Planking of course. Makes me miss my days at Phazes!! Someday I will return for good!!
The dare devil. Show-off.
Just chillin.
Look Mom! One handle!
I love this kind of entertainment.
On a side note, tomorrow I start physical therapy. I am super-duper nervous. I have very little range of motion in my feet/ankles so I KNOW its going to be a slightly painful experience. Woo! Lets do it and get it over with!!! Hopefully, within a month, I will be wearing my own shoes again.
This week was my 6 week checkup with my foot surgeon. I have been looking forward to this visit because of the prospect of beginning to walk again. It has been a frustrating 6 weeks as I have been confined to a wheelchair or my bed. As grateful as I am for all of the help from my neighbors and friends, there is just a sense of accomplishment when you are able to do your own dishes and refill your own water glass.
This is the x-ray right after surgery. You can even see some fractures in it. They removed several bones that were shattered, but I don't know where they were suppose to be or what their names are. But its still interesting to look at.
Update on my scars. I really feel the scars are looking so much better.
Left Foot
Right Foot
Dr.Reber did a great job on my feet. I am very pleased with all of the care that he has given. All of the nurses and care givers at the Foot and Ankle institute in St.George have been great. No complaints at all! When Dr. Reber saw me this week, he looked at the new x-rays, examined my feet and then told me that it was time to start walking. YES! I was praying for those words!! My feet are healing right on schedule. Time to walk!!
Let the walking begin!!!
No joke...this walking thing is HARD. I literally feel like I am taking baby steps around the house. I walk to the kitchen..I take a break. Walk to the living room..whew!..take a break! I have a huge boot on each leg (that I get to wear for at least for another month) and that makes it awkward to move very gracefully. So I plunk along. I really don't care. I am just happy that we have made it this far. :)
I have now had my two feet broken for an entire month.
A whole month of no walking or anything else that requires feet. My left foot has been in a hard cast for the last 3 weeks. Right after the car accident I had reconstructive surgery to make my left foot usable again. When the doctor saw the MRI of the foot, he said to me "your bones are sawdust." Not exactly what you want to hear after a car accident. A month ago, on the 19th, we rear-ended a big truck. My feet were on my seat near the dash and when we hit, the air bags went off. Thus...don't put your feet on the dash!!
Today I got my staples out AND my cast came off. I HATED the cast..it was a nightmare. With the boot, I could at least take it off at night whereas the cast was always on. I have had to had to rely on everyone for just about everything. I spend most of my days on my bed with my feet up. It is difficult to maneuver through my house in a wheelchair. I do the best I can, but really, its easier to just stay on the bed. My pain is much more manageable when my legs are elevated as well. The kids have been a great help to me. They are always filling up my water and bringing me whatever it is I need. I have also had an amazing support group from my church and from the commonwealth. Thank you ladies! I am so grateful for all of the emails, texts, visits, phone calls, and cards. It has kept me going when it all seems so overwhelming. I was so excited to get my cast off! I was not prepared for it though, it was freaky!! To have that saw vibrating so close my leg was a little unnerving.
The staples came out next. I was very unprepared for this. I expected a little pull. Well..nope. It was really the most painful experience since they set my feet back at the ER.
But now, I have a lovely boot on my left foot to go along with my boot on the right. I wish I could say they were matching, but as you can see...they are not. But do you know who cares? NOT ME! Two more weeks till I can start walking! Yeah!! I'm going to have to learn how to do it all over again. But hey, I've done all of this so far so why quit now!
This is when I could see my ten toes. I could see my ten toes on my birthday.
I was so happy to have so many friends come over and visit my ten toes as well.
My former scouts came and saw my ten toes as well. They even paper plate danced for me!! (Don't you wish I was your primary chorister! Then you could paper plate dance too!) Then the doctor wanted to check on my ten toes...warning...don't look if you're squeamish... He tells me that my toes are so cute! But, the feet and ankles are still broken. Bonus..The plates inside my left foot will grant me a card to bypass the scanners at the airport.
He then puts a hard cast on my left foot and booted up my right. Now I can only see five little toes. But at least I can see my sister's house as well.
For Christmas, from Grandma Brown, the boys received a Pickle Ball set. When I told Grandma that the boys would like a Pickle Ball set, she was like.... "A Pickle what?" Well Grandma came through! We set out recently for our first pickle ball excursion.
And what a blast!!! The rules are similar to tennis and table tennis. Serve the ball corner to corner, one bounce inside the square, and you can only get a point if you serve. We only have 2 pickle ball paddles so the younger two played with the tennis rackets while the rest of us took turns playing. Luke and I played the first game. The game is suppose to go to 11 points and you win by 2. But, it soon became apparent that we needed to play only to 7 points since we weren't gaining any points. We had a great time and plan to go out again this week. And that has nothing to do with me winning the first game. :)
Notice anything different with Ben's super cute smile? Oh yes. He "officially" is becoming one of the big kids as he has lost his first tooth. Yeah Ben!!
Consider this an invitation to join me with my New Year's resolution..wait..I hate resolutions. A friend of mine recently said "If it wasn't worth your time to do it two weeks ago then it probably isn't now."
I guess this isn't a resolution...more like a life style change.
This past year I have had some unique experiences for me. One of them was the "Time out For Women" that Deseret Book produces every year. All of the speakers spoke a lot of truth and touched me greatly, but two of them really spoke to my soul.
One was Mariama Kallon. She grew up in a war torn country, was the victim and was a witness to horrid war crime, and then became a member of the LDS church. She served a faithful mission and then immigrated to the USA. She has been through so much and yet, she is happy, confident and inspiring. All three are my goals in life. How do I get there?
Hillary Weeks was also at the event. She told about an experience she had where she used a "clicker"..or counter..to count all of her good thoughts that she had in a week. She spoke about the profound change in heart and mind that this brought about her. People everywhere had a clicker in their hand and were counting their good thoughts. She had about 1000 good thoughts in a week. It intrigued me..do I have that many?
She also sang a song that has become a mantra for me. I'm sure she wrote it just for me. It is titled Beautiful Heartbreak. It describes the pain that I have tucked away that comes growling out every once in a while. It describes the heartache that I feel when I think about the assault. I feel the heartbreak part easily..but do I feel the beautiful part? That is very difficult for me.
I was pondering these moments for weeks. Trying to figure out a way to incorporate them into ME.
I was perplexed on what I needed to do. I need to be better..I want to be a better person. I think I am doing ok..but ok isn't where I want to be.
At Thanksgiving I received my answer of what I needed to do.
I was reading my friend's blog (Hi Besty! ). She wrote a list of 100 things that she was grateful. Wow I thought. That is super cool. As I pondered her post I knew it was connected to the heart's change that I was looking for.
I recently read an article by Pres. Thomas S. Monson. It is about gratitude, and how if we have a grateful heart then we "unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love." (Its an amazing talk, go read it!)
I figured it out. I needed to be more grateful. I needed to be grateful for everything, always. When I made this realization, I suddenly became very aware of ungrateful attitude I often had.
I desire a grateful heart. A grateful heart will bring healing, joy, confidence, and peace.
This year is the year that I learn to be grateful.
For Christmas I made a few plaques for a couple of friends to join me on my "grateful journey" this year. (Write on them with and erasable marker..changing it as they see fit.)
My goal is to everyday write three items of gratitude on my grateful poster. Something that I am grateful for in my spiritual life, my home life, and in the world surrounding me. By the year's end I want to have more then 1000 things that I am grateful for.
I know many people use gratitude journals, and I think that's fantastic. But here's my thing..I want to remind myself every time I am in my bedroom of all that I am grateful for. I don't want to forget! I seriously am like Dory the fish in Finding Nemo..I forget things very easily! When I have bad days, and I get crazy depressed, I want to have a visual reminder of how blessed I am. I am so blessed to have the gospel, my family, and this world to live in. I need to see it.
Why am I sharing this on my blog? Seem a little ostentatious? That,s not my intent...I share to keep myself in check. If its a secret, then I will easily find excuses to not fulfill my goal. I will be posting a small update, hopefully monthly, to help keep myself on task.
I've only been writing on my gratitude poster for 5 days now and it isn't to difficult so far. It is nice to already be thinking of things that I want to put on the poster tomorrow. Maybe this will change this heart after all.
What are you thankful for?
I invite you to keep a gratitude journal/poster/paper this year. Learn the blessings of being grateful with me.
