Little Britches

I'm taking a night class, and as part of the class we read a book every couple weeks and write a paper about each book. The book that we read and studied this week was Little Britches: Father and I Were Ranchers by Ralph Moody. This book is truly a life transformational book...if you let it. It can be a simple story of a boy growing up, but it can also be a book that that can teach you to be a better parent.
Ranching is not a new lifestyle to me. I grew up among the alfalfa fields, the truckloads of hay, and the endless cattle and farm animals. I had the wise dad that would give me advice any time I needed it and there was always a perfect sunset to watch in the evening. Ok, so maybe it wasn’t as picture perfect as I would like to remember but I cherish my upbringing as I cherish this book.

While reading this book I have found myself re-evaluating my character and teaching character to my children. I have always thought that I was brought up on “good” principles. I was raised in a close LDS family and although character wasn’t discussed or formally taught, I do remember having conversations with my Dad about character. I think I was like Ralph in many cases. I remember having the same thought processes and rationalizations that led me to the same amount of trouble (if not more). But now that I’m a Mom, I find it more difficult to teach these things to my kids. Ralph’s dad and my dad seemed to have a talent for teaching right and wrong. This is a talent that I obviously haven’t been handed so I would like to learn and develop it. If Ralph was able to practice swinging around a moving horse, I should be able to learn how to teach character to my children.

So, in taking the advice of learning from the classics, I want to learn from Ralph, his father, and the many learning experiences and see if I can apply them to myself.

One common behavior that Charles had whenever he was disciplining Ralph, was his control of temper. He never lost control of his anger and always seemed to have the “big picture” in mind when talking to Ralph. It was always a matter of “Is this the kind of man you want to be when you are older?” not “What were you thinking?!”(The latter taken from my own story of raising kids.) When Ralph stole the chocolate, Charles didn’t rant and rave about the chocolate, but he calmly and firmly discussed the problem, why it was a problem, and what a better solution could have been. In other situations, such as when he was herding cows with Fanny, Charles would simply point out Ralph’s goals that he had and asked him if his current behavior would help or hinder him in reaching his goals. No yelling or belittling Ralph, just a simple refocus on what his goals were and how he could reach them. I think of my boys and how I discipline them and point out their faults and I realize that I am far from Mr. Moody’s example. I have a tendency to point out their shortcomings in a non-loving, judgmental way that will most likely not produce the same results that Charles Moody was able to have. I think that is why Ralph respected his father so much is that when he was disciplined, it was done privately, amicably, quickly, and then it wasn’t dwelt upon in the hours/days to come. This simple formula of discipline would transform my home. If I would discipline my boys privately, with respect, quickly and then move on, I believe the entire atmosphere would change in my home. Not only would there be less yelling but then I would be able to have those opportunities to teach the character attributes that I would love my boys to have. Instead of dwelling on the problems and situations that arise, to take those situations and try and put a positive spin on it.

One part of the story has been mulling in my mind the past few days. When Ralph comes back from seeing the sheriff and his father says to him that” a man always made his troubles less by going to meet them instead of waiting for them to catch up with him, or trying to run away from them.” (p.147) The more I have thought about this quote, the more disturbed I have felt. I have always been a protective mother to my kids. I am the mother hen with all of her chicks under her wings. Recently I have been involved with a local boys group and a situation has arisen that makes me wonder if I am being over protective and not letting my boys “face their troubles.” Am I teaching them to shrink under pressure and to flee the situation, am I teaching them to not face the bullies but to just leave or quit the group? When do I draw the line between protecting my kids and defending them (as Charles did with the school teacher) or letting them learn their own lessons (as Ralph did with the sheriff). I don’t have an answer to my own question yet, but it has given me reason to ponder the situation more and to reassess my involvement (or over-involvement) as a parent.